Haze

12 Mar, 2025

There has been so much going on lately! so many things to keep track of! so much to do! and yet I feel like nothing happens at all at the same time. I kind of forgot about this page for a while. I know it defeats the purpose of this, but I seriously couldn't put my thoughts into words and it's been so hard to keep my feelings under control. I noticed I get irritated so often, it feels bad. And it's not just a one-time especific thing. Everything irritates me. Doing things irritates me, doing nothing irritates me, thinking irritates me, doing the things I like irritates me, thinking that I'm irritated irritates me. I'm kind of irritated writing this entry at this very moment! And it's at this moment I realized that most of my teenage years I spent feeling just like this, all the time. Honestly no idea of what this stems from, probably I got used to feeling this way and normalized it as time went on. It's not like I don't want to do things either, but just the thought of getting myself to do something feels like I'm killing myself