Placidness

03 Feb, 2025

Not much happened today. Though, I started thinking about some things that have been bothering me for some time. It's almost finals season already and that usually doesn't bother me as much. I am pretty much confindent in my intelligence and it turns out to be a breeze. But right now there's this anxiety coming in after I moved out by myself. It's probably the change of escenery and lifestyle though. But I also feel that there's different things at stake now and I can't put my finger on why. It nauseates me to even think about going back to college nowadays. Thankfully it's my last year and won't have to bother about that anymore. Work isn't an issue luckily since I already have a pretty secured job. Actually, I seem to be looking forward to coming back to it. It helps me calm down after attending classes, which is rather ironic because I work as a teacher myself. I get so much enjoyment from teaching and learning at the same time but not in college. I'm guessing it's a problem of the environment itself that changes my perception.

Changing the subject, today I also set a goal for myself to stop biting my nails. It's a habit I caught from my mom who usually did the same thing all the time. Since I started doing it pretty young (I believe it was around when I was 7 years old!), it will probably be very hard to achieve, but I'll try my best to do so. Lately there's this feeling of self-consciousness about my nails I'm not be able to shake off. It's weird, because most of my life I didn't really bother about that. Who pays attention to nails anyway? But when I started going to college my first friend group was made up mostly of freelance manucurists and they would often complain about the shortness of my nails. It was, really, the worst case scenario for me.